Yes Ma'am, You Old Hag!--The Wednesday Whine

I've been a lot of things in my life:  student, dancer, sister, flute-player, cheerleader, athlete, wife, mother, friend, daughter, waitress, trainer, instructor, independent business owner, volunteer...the list could go on. We've all been many things to many people.  As a military wife, I am something that no civilian will ever be....a dependent.  This is a label we "dependents" are forced to wear, and I've never really had an issue with it.  It's just the way it is.  I've never in my life been so blaringly this, though...a Ma'am.  Wha?

Yes, ma'am.  No, ma'am.  Thank you, ma'am.  I hear these words a lot.  Not from my own kids or other children, but from normal, sane adults.  And it happens to occur anytime I show my military ID at any base location.  So, I have been introduced to the life of the wife of a "high" ranking officer, and I am not sure what to think.  See, there aren't a ton of officers of my husband's rank around here, so I can kind of understand the treatment.  However, I am not my husband.  While I appreciate the kindness and respect, I also don't want to be treated a certain way because of my husband's rank.  It is embarrassing, for lack of a better description.  I've never been one to "wear" my husband's rank.  Am I not my own person?

I didn't give much thought to the "Twilight Zone" I've been living in until last week.  I mentioned my love of the library in my Manic Monday post.  I struck up a conversation with the woman working at the library, and I asked if she needed volunteers.  "Oh, yes, that would be great.  We are short staffed right now," she replied.  She then looked at my library card and said, "But, you are the wife of a high ranking officer, so I can't really put you to work.  How about you come read at the upcoming Halloween party, and then I can present you with a certificate?"  My jaw almost hit the floor.  What do you say to that?  I am offering my services.  I actually want to help.  I don't want a certificate.  I don't want to be recognized.  I just want to enjoy the library.  I really just want to fill my time and meet a few new people.  I gave her my number, and I told her pretty much all of the above, along with, "I am not my husband, and I don't care about rank."

I'm sure my thoughts on this matter may not fly well with certain people.  The thing is, I am ME.  This kind of thing comes with the territory when living overseas and relying on the base for so many things.  I still want to be me, though.  You've heard the term "Rank has its privileges?"  Well, I am here to tell you that that is one convoluted statement.  Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining about our life.  I'm proud of my husband and our military.  I like most of the perks.  The others, well...let's just say they can make for a lonely existence.   All I want is to volunteer in the library.  I never expected to have to beg to do so.  And I don't like being called ma'am by an adult.  It's like a nice word for "old hag."  Thank you, you old hag.  That's what they're really thinking, right?  :)